Unbreak My Heart
Unbreak my heart,
Unbreak my heart.
What is it when,
Your dopamine receptors are broken?
The usual chai in the morning
does not make me happy anymore
My heart is frozen,
Ready to explode any moment
No strength to breathe
where my soul trapped in this body
Not feeling so grateful,
and I’m angry with God.
“The little Prince” is my Bible
The only thing offering me solace
I keep switching on
Different crazy visions
They seem strangely comfortable
Deep, dark and cozy
They soothe my poetic lust,
They satiate my philosophical hunger,
But I can see myself
Being progressively worse…
Emotionally.
What is the point of intelligence?
Without emotional strength?
I’ve got nothing
No points.
I have this overwhelming urge though
To hurt myself,
Inflict pain
Very carefully and slowly,
Ah… ecstatic!
Like a suicidal art.
Really, woah…
What kind of darkness is this?
A new kind?
Well, not really
They were always there, sleeping…
Ready to creep out while I sleep
Under my bed,
Along with my insecurities
and deep, dark secrets.
You know, I discovered very recently
That I’m still not over my parent’s breakup
I thought I dealt with it
Like a champ,
But now I understand
It’s a wound that never healed
I can’t stand the thought of them
Being alone
It breaks my heart.
My problems have a map
Definitely a map!
One stop is my parents
How lucky I am,
To have them
How unlucky I feel,
Not peaceful about them
Ironically,
How ironically, I search for all the things
I have just in front of me
Is it because I’m blind?
Do I lack any of it?
Actually, No
It’s not that I don’t have them
It’s just that
My heart is so deep,
My soul is so vast,
It never stops wanting…
Hence the pain
Unbreak my heart,
Oh…unbreak my heart!
Self-Love/Visions
Why are you frantically deleting all the romance?
Nothing bad happened…yet!
It’s over, and you need to let go.
Don’t push too hard, though,
Because your heart is,
Well… fragile, yet strong.
Now, it prefers being soft;
It craves this ache,
Like an old romantic poet,
Wrestling with melancholy and hurt,
and getting some kind of
Sadistic pleasure out of it.
Dear darling girl,
This is not love-sick worthy.
Please be kind to yourself,
Learn, be strong!
(Hugging)
You are a dragon,
Spitting fireballs of passion, love
and sometimes grief and despair.
Now, don’t burn down the valley and village;
There are people who really need that fire,
They make themselves warm, make tea,
even make glass bangles and vases out of it,
Simply because they need you, want you,
and aren’t overwhelmed by you.
That’s home.
You’re not a wanderer
Who leaves homes on your way;
You are an explorer
Who finds things and keeps them.
But yeah, some places are
Meant to be explored only,
Not for safe-keeping.
Sure, they’re beautiful too,
But not for you to keep.
Please don’t be hurt about it
(Hugging again)
That’s how life works.
Its not good nor bad;
It may be pleasurable or painful,
But not something that has to be judged.
So, you sweet and sour woman,
Please don’t be bitter.
You’ll come through.
Echoes
I’m heartbroken
Heart
Broken.
It’s a beautiful melancholy
The echoes of ephemeral sorrow.
I don’t want to romanticize my illness
But I can’t help it
It is very intense
and Scary
Like I would want to vomit my heart out.
People like me are mayflies
Death is so easy for us
Death as in a Philosophical death
Emotional, Poetic Death!
Is there something like that, really?
Oh…yeassss believe me
I have died so many times
Yet again blooming to fade away.
Have you watched (some art movie)? He asked
That’s like the oldest trick on the book, I thought
I’m a witch! I said
I have my own tricks, I thought
What are we doing here anyway?
Playing with our hearts? Teasing each other?
I thought it was fun
Is it really?
Because after sometime
It’s bloody exhausting!
I want to feel free,
I want to feel admired for my heart,
my soul, my brain
not because I look… well, pretty pretty
Sometimes I don’t feel beautiful at all
It’s my mind…, dark matter
Nothing comes in, nothing goes out.
An abyss like Nietzsche said. Or Camus?
My journey with love is a
Complex, soul crushing strive.
I’ve felt the greatest love
So, I know what I want
But I also know it’s rare
People get bored easily,
It’s difficult to keep the attention steady,
People are not inherently bad,
But unskilled.
What to say
I’m an old school hopeless romantic.
What was I saying?
Oh yes… about how crazy I can get.
Let me be honest here,
I’m insane.
It’s 0 or 100 for me
I do believe in the virtues and values
and people and their emotions
and with all my heart,
want to acknowledge
the grey spaces, not black not white.
I honestly love people in rainbow
But what I want is something else
Something I can’t describe,
I’m not a human being
I’m a creature from another dimension
I want what words can’t narrate
I told you,
I’m delulu
I’m tired.
About the Author
Bhoomi is a research scholar in Philosophy at University of Kerala, with a focus on gender, power dynamics and Post-Marxism. As an interdisciplinary artist, Bhoomi seamlessly weaves together performance art, movement design, and creative expression. With a unique blend of academic rigor and artistic innovation, Bhoomi’s work navigates the intersections of philosophy, gender, and performance.
