In Pursuit of Myself
I barely know who I am
much less who anyone else is.
I draw and colour a little.
I doodle.
I hone my artistic skills in a bid to
entertain my little girl.
I relish teatime and walks,
and read books in my spare time.
My dreams of being a bestselling author
remain ambiguous.
I try to write.
The sensation of the smooth keys clattering under
my fingers is deeply relaxing. Therapeutic.
Is there an antidote to anxiety? Crippling anxiety?
For a few moments
I try to empty my mind entirely,
I focus fully on my breathing.
I visit my parents.
My father finds happiness so easily.
Sitting alone in his room,
peace and bliss permeating from floor to ceiling,
the beautiful silence made only more
profound by chanting Om,
it’s reverberations flowing through the house.
How he takes pleasure in the mundane,
How he savours a homecooked meal,
How he delights in the simple things in life,
how he continues to display remarkable sangfroid,
how lucid and coherent his thoughts are.
My mother,
how eternally grateful she is,
how selflessly she goes out of her way to lend
a helping hand,
how joyful and blissed out!
Life is what we make it,
she tells me.
Make your own happiness,
wherever you are.
Don’t wait to be kind first.
You never know how much someone
needed that smile you gave them,
how much someone needed that
talk, those words or that long hug.
When you open yourself up to the
world, it opens itself up to you.
Evolve,
My father tells me,
evolve to a higher consciousness.
Release,
the day you release the bird from its cage
you will realize that it is the bird who
releases you.
The dispersion and reconstitution of
the self – that’s the whole thing!
Pearls of Wisdom: From a Mother to Her Daughter
Prioritize love for God and love for self, all other loves will fall into place.
Happiness with human beings is precarious. Invest in yourself. Make a list of the things that bring you joy; the things that nourish your strength and sanity, return to them from time to time.
What stands in the way becomes the way.
You want something, you get it, you feel a rush of dopamine and soon after you crash and you hanker after something else. Find balance. Find contentment.
You cannot rush magic. Trust in divine timing. When you surrender to divine timing, you allow the magic of the Universe to unfold in your life.
A major part of your life needs to be undocumented. Do you want to take that picture because it would look great on social media, or do you want to capture a moment because you don’t want to forget how insanely happy you were in it? There’s power in a quiet life, there’s power in anonymity. Your life does not have to be a grand spectacle for others to be worthwhile or happening.
Cultivate pockets of stillness. Learn the art of spending time alone.
You cannot prevent sorrow, pain, and tragedy. You’ve got to find a way to transmute your pain, anxieties, and fears into positive energy. Turn it into art. Create. Doodle. Write a poem. Paint. Crochet. Plant a tree. Bake. Write a poem. Decoupage. Brisk walk. Whatever floats your boat.
Do good and forget it. No one owes you anything.
Don’t advertise your happy marriage and expensive buys on social media. Not everyone is going to be happy for you.
Don’t say more than necessary.
Being calm can deescalate a situation.
Sometimes silence is the best answer.
Enjoy where you are. Delight in the moments that are available to you.
People leave when their role in your life is over. We don’t lose people; we return them.
Everything happens for a reason.
Be kind. Everyone is healing from something they don’t talk about.
Make a ritual to donate in cash or kind. Don’t tell anyone about it.
Revel in the ordinary. The extraordinary will take care of itself.
Learn to listen. Listening well is a superpower.
Read.
Travel.
Keep secrets when they are entrusted to you.
Sunlight. Exercise. Meditation. Healthy food. Positive Thinking. Gratitude. Charity. Nature. Music. Sleep.
Every time you do something that is one less time you do it. One day you will do something the final time and you will rarely know when that day comes. Seize the moment. Seize the day.
No experience is ever wasted – even the most harrowing becomes compost for growth, and fodder for creativity.
Accept. Release. Transcend.
Rest. Rejuvenate. Restore.
Never lose your sense of wonder.
Fall in love with being alive.
To read more poetry by the same author, click here
About the Author
Swati Moheet Agrawal delights in giving depth to the banal, and literature makes her world more navigable.
